I have an interview for a management position tomorrow afternoon. I applied to the position reluctantly two weeks ago. I kept telling myself that I'm not management material. A small, quieter voice in my head kept asking me "if not now, when?".
I am not getting any younger. I'm getting to the point with my experience and work history that if I'm not in a leadership role soon, I'm never going to be. With rejection after rejection after rejection, I am uncertain whether or not I will find the correct fit for me anytime soon. I'm tired of recruiters proclaiming "this is our guy" and hiring managers reflecting "you are a strong candidate for this role" and then when it comes to either the final round interview or the decision itself - crickets.
I can't keep doing this.
So tomorrow will be the last time I throw myself at the mercy of an employer for CY 2026 in hopes that they see something in me that only a handful have up to this point. I see why the line is "wish in one hand and shit in the other, then see which one fills up first". After this, I'm willing to scrub toilets on evening and weekend shifts to supplement my income. I can't continue to take an hour off here, or 4 hours there, and consume all of my PTO with an employer I unfortunately might be stuck with for the foreseeable future.
To my knowledge, I will be the final candidate to interview for this role. I will either make a lasting impression, or fail to impress. If I land this job, even the low end of the salary range is $20,000 more than I am making now. If I manage to negotiate well into the higher side of things, it will be much needed relief for my family.
I'm not one to ask for prayers from strangers, so I'm not going to start here. If (when?) I crash and burn, I'll delete my Reddit account and take a sabbatical from doom scrolling. I will then just invest every waking moment I have to earn additional income in some shape/way/form.
Earlier today I was speculating with a former colleague about how unsuccessful my efforts have been. It's almost like I'm blacklisted (unofficially) and no one can or will tell me why I'm being passed over. It's going to be something I'm not catching onto. They can't all be no. Someone, somewhere, has to say yes. Well, that's where shitting in your hand comes into play, I suppose.
Thank you for attending my TED Talk. I hope you have a good night and a good weekend.