So my boss has been subtly bullying me for almost 2 years along with some coworkers, trying to push me out. I stayed because I needed the job, but I’m planning to quit in a few months because I can’t take it anymore.
The confusing part is she appears really nice—polite to everyone, allows sick days, lets us leave early before long weekends and still get paid. If you saw her from the outside, you’d think she’s great.
But from my experience, it’s been very different. In my first month she mocked me, was passive aggressive almost daily, and micromanaged everything. When I showed initiative (since she wasn’t giving me work), she asked if I wanted her job, said she was joking, then made fun of it with coworkers the next day. She’s told me things like “tell me if this job isn’t for you, it’s not for everyone,” which felt more like pushing me out than helping.
Over time I felt mobbed—coworkers baiting me, joining in, constant subtle undermining. Recently I started standing up for myself more.
Yesterday I was really sick (nauseous, severe headache, very stressed) but still came in because she had an important presentation (basically the only real work I do). I did have one part wrong, but usually she tells me exactly what to put, so I assumed it was correct. Instead of telling me how to fix it, she went into another coworker’s office and loudly said “where is she getting those numbers from” so everyone could hear. Normally she writes down what needs to be fixed, but with certain things she chooses to say it out loud—especially when I’m trying hard or putting in more effort.
She then came to me and said it needed to be fixed but didn’t explain clearly what she wanted. I fixed it in front of her, updated everything, converted it to PDF while she watched, and then she said “that’s not what I want” and changed instructions again.
I left early and ended up throwing up multiple times trying to get home.
Today I texted that I’m still sick and not coming in, and she replied nicely “ok hope you feel better.”
Am I overreacting or does this sound like toxic management?