I was laid off 2.5 months ago from a leadership position at a company I had planned to be at for the rest of my career and have been aggressively working towards new employment nearly all day everyday. I’ve applied to roughly 200 positions with tailored resumes, cover letters and portfolios for each of them. Non stop connection searching and relationship development, vigilantly selling myself in hopes of referrals in every message. I’ve had close to 100 interviews at this point, answering the same questions over and over. Some processes for a single company being over a dozen interviews before receiving rejection. I’m now entering the “final stage” for a couple companies that I have been talking to for nearly this entire stretch of time.
I am completely fried.
I simply cannot take a deep breath. My heart rate will not come down. My palms are clammy and hands constantly trembling. My anxiety around this all just continues to climb and has finally reached a point where it’s constant. Not just before interviews, not just when applying, all day everyday.
I feel ridiculous that this is how my body is reacting — I objectively am doing well, all things considered. There is just something about this process that’s destroying my nervous system and starting to get worried that if I don’t land a job soon, I will start to see a significant drop in my ability to sell myself effectively.
I don’t know why this is eating me up but I have also never been in this type of situation before — the carpet was pulled out from under me and reality is starting to set in.