TLDR; 11 people (including myself) handed our notice in since October due to mismanagement and poor culture. I have tried to raise concerns which have led to some informal meetings with managers. During my final week I have had a family emergency that has taken precedent. When discussing completing my duties before my final day, while I was still in hospital with my relative, I was told that this means my manager will “have to be honest” in my references and that they “had to be on the last reference as our relationship has changed so much since we started working together”. What can I do? How can I get a simple reference evidencing my time working there, without it including some personal digs?
Started a role post MA graduation in October, in my field but not directly in what I am qualified to do, however would be good post graduation experience. I started in a recruitment drive of eight others; 3 now remain (not including myself). Multiple staff have gone on long term sick and five others have handed their notice in since we started which I think is indicative of the workplace environment.
A few weeks into starting I had to request a mediation meeting, as a manager had told me they vomited and I asked them to step away from me, explaining I care from some immunocompromised. They said I was being homophobic, which forced me to disclose that I am queer, and then they started saying instead I had an attitude. So I requested from my line manager we have an informal mediation meeting to clear the air. This went ahead and we were able to work together amicably since. Following this I highlighted I was a carer for a family member on our HR system and continually bought this up to my line manager to make them aware of the additional responsibilities I have. My manager said that they would put reasonable adjustments in place which was never followed up.
Following this, I raised concerns around the culture of the workplace to my line manager/service manager on multiple occasions; my main concerns were that people often spoke very poorly of the management team and that people appeared very hesitant of our cohort of new starters. On more than one occasion during these discussions my manager told me people were talking about me, and talking about other new starters, however she refused to elaborate on what they were saying. My manager said they were aware of the issues I was highlighting and that they were working hard to combat the negative culture. I began hot-desking and was told that I had to sit with the team, despite sharing I was uncomfortable, knowing I was being spoken about.
A few weeks back, I challenged a manager on a clinical decision, ultimately that managers decision was overruled in my favour and my questioning highlighted a failure in procedure. This led to a 3 way discussion with my line manager (who is also now a service manager), myself and this manager to discuss the processes and failures found. This included me being accused of being aggressive because to quote I “had crossed, folded arms” when we were discussing the case. I was also told I refused to follow managers instruction, where in fact I had said I was too overwhelmed and upset to be able to carry out clinical duties, I stated this in writing.
I have always gotten on ok with my line manager and she has commented about how well I work and how much she feels we are similar. However since the above I have tried to keep my keep my distance and have been less chummy with her. She told me she felt I was angry with her, and I shared I was just trying to get on with things. She told me I clearly wanted to work my notice and leave and this upset her, I had no response to this.
I was a temp contract and offered for it to be moved to perm, I declined to sign the new contract and instead handed my notice in due to all of the above. My temp contact ended on 31/03/26 and I never signed a new contact. My temp contract stated I had a two months notice, which I agreed to work when I handed my notice in on 01/04/26, it worked out my last day would be 03/06/26. Since I never signed anything, I’m not even sure whether I was required to work this period.
I have had one interview while working my notice which requested references prior and I put my line manager down. I did not get the role, and was told I was a very close second however it was insinuated that the other candidate had better references, at the time, I didn’t think much of this.
During bank holiday weekend, the family member I care for has taken an incredibly unexpected turn for the worse, requiring emergency medical care and has been in the hospital since. Their condition is incredibly unstable and it was a very traumatic experience as they hemorrhaged at home. I contact my line manager on bank holiday Monday to explain the scenario and have been keeping her up to date since, however have not been back to work. I have been very up front that I know how this looks and that this is not how I wanted to end my time at this role as I have some outstanding work, however I feel I am not in a fit state to be able to support my clients.
My line manager rang me to discuss the outstanding work and me handing back my equipment. I explained how precarious the medical situation with my family member is and how traumatic the experience has been and because of this that I feel I am able to come in on my final day to complete the work needed that only I can and hand my equipment back. My manager said on the phone that this means she will “have to be honest” in my references and that she “had to be on the last reference as our relationship has changed so much since we started working together”. This felt very personal, and odd, and completely irrelevant to be telling me when she knew I was outside of the hospital and just trying to arrange how best to complete my outstanding duties.
I’ve had a look and I’m aware negative references can be given but that they have to be factual i.e providing information of disciplinary action taken (which none has been). But can my line manager make reference to the mediation meeting and 3 way discussion I’ve had? Or comment her personal feelings of how I’ve “changed toward her”? How can I go about getting a simple reference from this place of date-to-from? As I can get other character and professional references from colleagues and former employers in other fields. Should I take any other action?