I haven't been able to keep a job for more than 2.5 years. I started working when I was 20 and I'm almost 40 now. It's been tough because most of the jobs I lost were due to layoffs or restructuring, rarely were they due to poor performance or other things. Everything I saved or inherited had to be used to survive until I found another job, which is why I never ended up with savings or retirement. I was able to make it work since I was in a rent controlled place for 15 years, so I was able to keep a roof over my head pretty easily. 3 years ago I moved to a new city for a new job and got an apartment at market rate. Not even two years later I lost that job to restructuring. Used my savings to cover rent until I got a job in another city 6 months later. I commuted two hours a day until I became a permanent employee, and then decided to move to the new city 4 months in. Well now the company did a mass layoff and here I am again. Used the last of my savings to move here. I'm not even fully unpacked.
I'm just tired and defeated. Im thinking about just borrowing money to break the lease, sell everything and just live out of my car while I collect unemployment. I'm just utterly tired of every f*cking thing. Nearly 20 years of my life working my a** off and absolutely nothing to show for it. What is the fucking point anymore? Life has been find a job, lose the job, lose savings and retirement, only to find a job and have the cycle repeat itself again every two years. What's the point of even living if I can't enjoy life? It's just been a constant stream of disappointments and I'm tired. I'm just so f*cking tired.