I work in a four-person secretariat in a law firm. We are 4 women, 3 of us in their 30s and a 4th new colleague in her 50s.
The lady in her 50s sees herself as a mother to us, offering a lot of unsolicited advice, she has no boundaries, asking lots of personal questions, and generally being rather intrusive. We have had some disagreements over how some tasks should be done, and I have tried to evade or not reply to some odd comments she’s made towards me in our teams chat with the other 2 colleagues, so as to not confront her or worsen our relationship. I always try to be professional, and I am a rather private person and an introvert.
She’s very insistent lately about going to lunch together. I have politely declined so far because I have been extremely busy, but now the more I think about it I realise that I also don’t want to have lunch with her at all! How do I politely but firmly say that I don’t want to go to lunch with her? Just thinking the lunch and conversation makes me anxious!