Hi all,
I’m 25F and recently started my first full-time job in public health after finishing my MPH last year. It isn’t my dream job, but it seemed like a great entry-level opportunity and a way to get my foot in the door. The pay is good, and I was genuinely excited to start.
The problem is that I’ve only been there about six weeks and I’ve already been crying almost every day.
From day one, something felt off. After the initial paperwork and onboarding logistics, I was basically put at a desk with nothing to do. Whenever I tried to make conversation with my supervisor or get to know people, it felt like I was bothering them. There hasn’t been any formal training structure, despite being told during the hiring process that they were happy to train me and support me as I learned the role.
A lot of my work right now involves shadowing others in the field, which depends on their schedules. When there isn’t shadowing available, I spend a lot of time sitting by myself trying to find things to do. I do my best to stay productive, but there are many days where I feel completely underutilized.
What has been bothering me even more than the lack of structure is the culture. Everyone has worked together for years and seems very close. I understand I’m the new person, but I constantly feel like an outsider. I don’t expect everyone to be best friends with me, but I often feel like an inconvenience when I ask questions or try to engage in conversation. It’s gotten to the point where I feel invisible.
The hardest part is that I’ve been very fortunate to have worked in supportive environments throughout my life. Whether it was research, service jobs, or other public health work along the way, I’ve always felt welcomed, valued, and encouraged by colleagues and supervisors. This is the first time I’ve experienced the opposite, and it’s affecting me more than I expected.
There is one person here who has been an amazing advocate and mentor, and who genuinely sees my potential. I’m incredibly grateful for her support. Unfortunately, one supportive relationship hasn’t been enough to offset the broader negative environment, which increasingly feels like a place where I’m struggling.
I keep telling myself it’s only been six weeks and maybe I just need more time to adjust. But instead of improving, I’ve found myself dreading work more and more. I’ve started applying to other positions because I don’t think I can ignore these feelings anymore because it’s beginning to eat away at me and my mental health.
Has anyone else experienced something similar with their first professional job? Did things improve with time, or was your gut feeling right?
Edit: for context, the job is a health inspector role. I got my MPH in epidemiology, biostatistics and environmental health, and took this job as I wanna do epidemiology and environmental health analysis, which a position like this can serve as a foundation/starting point for that (also was the only public health related offer I had on the table)